Here is an article about dating that you might find interesting.
Love Is A Battle Field
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The Blind Date
One of my long time clients, whom I love, was caring enough to consider me when she ran across what she thought to be an eligible bachelor. Over come by the consideration and thoughtfulness I agreed. She gave him my email address and thus began an exchange of funny remarks and witty stories.
I began to get excited, as well as, nervous about our now set lunch date. So much so, that I got the felling of bailing. I didn't need the nausea of nervousness that got me hurt with Mr. Soon To Be Big Shot Lawyer. For the first time in such a long time, I only had myself to consider. I was beginning to enjoy it.
It was already planned and I was not going to bail and potentially hurt the feelings of my client, as well as, making her and myself look bad. Plus, one never can know what is behind a closed door unless you open it. I never have been on a blind date before. It could be fun. I decided to take the plunge into the dating cess pool yet again.
A few days before our date he called me mid-day while I was slammed at work. When he asked what I was up to I informed him of my busy day. For some reason he proceeded to ask me “getting to know you questions” and tell me about his day. I asked if I could call him back when I was off work due to my hectic day. He just sat there silently and then said “Oh, okay”. I again said, not wanting him to feel rejected, that it was just a bad time and I would call him later on that night. Again, silence followed by “Oh, okay”.
OH MY GOD! Is this guy retarded? Is he slow? Is he stupid? Is he another self absorbed male? Does he expect me to just be sitting around waiting for him to call me so I can hang on every word he says? Did he really think just because he was not busy that I wouldn't be? Did he even consider the possibility that it might not be a good time for me? Great! Just what I needed - to be set up on a blind date with an idiot!
The girls at my salon convinced me to call him because “He might have just been nervous.” When I got home I did and he seemed to be an interesting enough guy. He came from an artistic family and was well traveled. He was around thirty and had a career in television. Maybe his odd way of being let off the phone was a fluke. Maybe not, because when I let him go so I could eat dinner the Same Thing!!! Silence followed by “Oh, okay”! What had I gotten myself into?
The date was so much worse than I could have imagined. He actually witnessed the writings of the Lord to me. He told me that if God could forgive the apostle Paul that even I, a nonbeliever, had a chance. I am not lying to you. He literally told me that he wanted to have EIGHT kids hopping out the back of a mini van (in hand-me-down clothing because it is a struggle to provide for so many kids no less) to go to skate night at church! Right. So, this guy is a keeper.
I was polite and finished the date by listening, smiling, and letting him know that I respect his beliefs. Then I went back to the salon and told the girls about the horror I had just sat through. They looked at me and asked, “Who would do this to you? Who doesn't know you at all?”. I was wondering the same thing.
He invited me to church a few times and I did my best to be nice with my rejection. After all, I shouldn't be rude because his beliefs are different form mine. Not to mention that he obviously has some sort of mental defect that disables his ability to carry on a conversation. At least I did not waste any time by finding out later how inept he was. He stopped calling soon enough.
When my client asked me how it went, I simply told her that he was handsome and nice, but simply wanted different things out of life. She said that she knew he was in a hurry to settle down and a bit immature but thought it might have been a good time for me. I just said, “Yes he is”.
I began to get excited, as well as, nervous about our now set lunch date. So much so, that I got the felling of bailing. I didn't need the nausea of nervousness that got me hurt with Mr. Soon To Be Big Shot Lawyer. For the first time in such a long time, I only had myself to consider. I was beginning to enjoy it.
It was already planned and I was not going to bail and potentially hurt the feelings of my client, as well as, making her and myself look bad. Plus, one never can know what is behind a closed door unless you open it. I never have been on a blind date before. It could be fun. I decided to take the plunge into the dating cess pool yet again.
A few days before our date he called me mid-day while I was slammed at work. When he asked what I was up to I informed him of my busy day. For some reason he proceeded to ask me “getting to know you questions” and tell me about his day. I asked if I could call him back when I was off work due to my hectic day. He just sat there silently and then said “Oh, okay”. I again said, not wanting him to feel rejected, that it was just a bad time and I would call him later on that night. Again, silence followed by “Oh, okay”.
OH MY GOD! Is this guy retarded? Is he slow? Is he stupid? Is he another self absorbed male? Does he expect me to just be sitting around waiting for him to call me so I can hang on every word he says? Did he really think just because he was not busy that I wouldn't be? Did he even consider the possibility that it might not be a good time for me? Great! Just what I needed - to be set up on a blind date with an idiot!
The girls at my salon convinced me to call him because “He might have just been nervous.” When I got home I did and he seemed to be an interesting enough guy. He came from an artistic family and was well traveled. He was around thirty and had a career in television. Maybe his odd way of being let off the phone was a fluke. Maybe not, because when I let him go so I could eat dinner the Same Thing!!! Silence followed by “Oh, okay”! What had I gotten myself into?
The date was so much worse than I could have imagined. He actually witnessed the writings of the Lord to me. He told me that if God could forgive the apostle Paul that even I, a nonbeliever, had a chance. I am not lying to you. He literally told me that he wanted to have EIGHT kids hopping out the back of a mini van (in hand-me-down clothing because it is a struggle to provide for so many kids no less) to go to skate night at church! Right. So, this guy is a keeper.
I was polite and finished the date by listening, smiling, and letting him know that I respect his beliefs. Then I went back to the salon and told the girls about the horror I had just sat through. They looked at me and asked, “Who would do this to you? Who doesn't know you at all?”. I was wondering the same thing.
He invited me to church a few times and I did my best to be nice with my rejection. After all, I shouldn't be rude because his beliefs are different form mine. Not to mention that he obviously has some sort of mental defect that disables his ability to carry on a conversation. At least I did not waste any time by finding out later how inept he was. He stopped calling soon enough.
When my client asked me how it went, I simply told her that he was handsome and nice, but simply wanted different things out of life. She said that she knew he was in a hurry to settle down and a bit immature but thought it might have been a good time for me. I just said, “Yes he is”.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
The first time I decided I was “ready” to take a step out into the playing field I felt that I had chosen a decent guy. I was incredibly optimistic. Wide eyed and grinning from ear to ear. I actually was astonished that such a handsome man about to graduate from law school would want to wine and dine a mezzily hair stylist like me.
My nerves were shot and my mind was not functioning correctly. I listened and laughed and tried to not seem like a blabbering fool when I spoke. He seemed to really be interested and I thought I had lucked out and found a guy worth dating.
It did not take long for the said law student to drop the charm and class of plays and piano bars and replace it the with self indulgent womanizing behavior of a college frat boy. Romantic texts throughout the day turned to late night calls to meet up at a club. Idealistic conversations turned into a high school jock asserting his male domineering ego. I was crushed.
At the first sign of rejection I ran back to my ex for comfort and security like a fool. He became my ex for a reason! No comfort or security would ever last in the past. A mistake that will not be met again I dare say.
Mr. Soon To Be Big Shot Lawyer lead me on with messages of "We really need to meet up tonight. Meet at my place at seven." Then, of course, not showing up but calling with some sort of excuse that one had to forgive instinctively due to morals and sympathy. Until, that is, I said ENOUGH!!!
Crazy as it sounds, he was not phased by my logic, reason, and obvious ability to be emotionally stable with the aspect of never talking to him again. Lawyers... He bounced back from it without missing a step. Arguing that he must have me as a friend. I must admit that I conceded.
Some friend though! I don't have friends that stick their tongues down my throat. I don't have friends that send me late night invites to their houses. I don't have friends who tell me how beautiful I am, invite me to a party, then hit on some other woman the whole time!!!
All of this led me to believe that dating was not going to be an honest path of adults feeling their way to the future. It was going to be a cold, hard, lonely, journey into endless dates with less than adequate matches. It was going to be guarded judgments and constant doubt. It would not be easier than the relationship that had recently been put out of its' long awaited misery. It would be worse!
This is how Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde reintroduced me into the brutal business of dating.
Here is an article about serial texters that gives a highly similar description of Mr. Soon To Be Big Shot Lawyer.
My nerves were shot and my mind was not functioning correctly. I listened and laughed and tried to not seem like a blabbering fool when I spoke. He seemed to really be interested and I thought I had lucked out and found a guy worth dating.
It did not take long for the said law student to drop the charm and class of plays and piano bars and replace it the with self indulgent womanizing behavior of a college frat boy. Romantic texts throughout the day turned to late night calls to meet up at a club. Idealistic conversations turned into a high school jock asserting his male domineering ego. I was crushed.
At the first sign of rejection I ran back to my ex for comfort and security like a fool. He became my ex for a reason! No comfort or security would ever last in the past. A mistake that will not be met again I dare say.
Mr. Soon To Be Big Shot Lawyer lead me on with messages of "We really need to meet up tonight. Meet at my place at seven." Then, of course, not showing up but calling with some sort of excuse that one had to forgive instinctively due to morals and sympathy. Until, that is, I said ENOUGH!!!
Crazy as it sounds, he was not phased by my logic, reason, and obvious ability to be emotionally stable with the aspect of never talking to him again. Lawyers... He bounced back from it without missing a step. Arguing that he must have me as a friend. I must admit that I conceded.
Some friend though! I don't have friends that stick their tongues down my throat. I don't have friends that send me late night invites to their houses. I don't have friends who tell me how beautiful I am, invite me to a party, then hit on some other woman the whole time!!!
All of this led me to believe that dating was not going to be an honest path of adults feeling their way to the future. It was going to be a cold, hard, lonely, journey into endless dates with less than adequate matches. It was going to be guarded judgments and constant doubt. It would not be easier than the relationship that had recently been put out of its' long awaited misery. It would be worse!
This is how Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde reintroduced me into the brutal business of dating.
Here is an article about serial texters that gives a highly similar description of Mr. Soon To Be Big Shot Lawyer.
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